Seriously, this is what publishing is like...

Finally, we have a realistic view of what a writer goes through in order to get a book in the hands of readers. Thank you...Nathan Bransford for posting this on your awesome blog.

At first you're thinking of writing a novel and you're all...

But then you have an idea!

And you go...

But then you hit page 50 and you're all....

And then you hit page 75 and you're all...

But you power through!!

And then you're finished!!! You have finished a novel!!

Only then find out you have to start querying agents.

So you write your query letter...

You obsess over it...

And then you send it out to agents and you're all...

Then a couple of days go by and you're all...

And...

And...

But then you hear from your first agent!! And you're all...

And...

And it's a rejection. But it's just your first one so you're all...

Then you get a few more and it's more like...

But then! An agent calls! And they love your work! They want to represent you! And inside you're like...

But you don't want your agent to think you're crazy so instead you're like...

And you love your agent! When you say "yes" you want to...

But instead you go...

And then it's time to submit to publishers. You are back on submission, and you're like...

Then the editors start saying....

And...

And your inbox starts looking like...

And you're all...

And...

And...

But then your phone says your agent is calling. And you want to be like...

But instead it's more like...

And it's an offer! You have an offer! And you feel like...

And...

And...

And...

And then you go celebrate with your friends and they're all...

And on the car ride home you're still like...

But it's time for revisions. And you pretend you know what you're doing...

And it's back to...

But then you're done! You're really really done! Only your book doesn't come out for another year. And so you're like...

And...

You get your cover and you're all...

But then publication day approaches! And your reviews start coming out and it kind of feels like...

But some of them are good! And you're like...

And then your book is out there! People are reading your book!

And it feels pretty good!

And there's only one thing to do. Start the whole thing over again.

More Query Tips...and Some HA! HA!

I'm running out to buy some stationary with pretty planets all over it--because my writing is "out of this world!" Worst query I ever sent out was one to a picture book publisher. When the editor sent my query back (with a "no thank you") he was sure to include my whole submission--including my query PLUS the three rough drafts (I wrote the query three times trying to get it right) that I had mistakenly mailed out with the query.

Query Letter Advice (#1)

Does Amazon Pay?

I put my creepy little memoir up on Amazon's bookshelf back in April of this year in the hopes that I could avoid mentor M's Reason #56 of why my book might get REJECTED: "You Have no Sales History to Speak Of" and also because it seemed like a darn fun thing to do. Well, putting my book out there was a lot of work, but as I've said before it's been worth it. Just recently I received my first month's royalty check. It was for $200.00 which isn't amazing, but it's also not bad. (The average ebook author makes $500.00 a year.) I have to admit putting a book up on Amazon AND stirring up sales is a lot like playing the market--things can change quickly;one day you're up and the next you're wondering what went wrong. This fluctuation has a lot to do with algorithms and how Amazon tweaks them. (For instance, just when you think Amazon's  KDP Select program is a great marketing tool for self-pubs like me they go and change the algorithms, making it more difficult to get your book noticed. See this May blog for an explanation...
Amazon's changing algorithms )


But as many kindle self-pubs know, there's more to selling books than just KDP Select...see Renee Pawlish's blog.

So, does Amazon pay? Sure, but it's not a walk in the park. It's more like a hike up a steep bank...a steep bank that doesn't seem to end.